Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
by the.love.that.binds
Summary: SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID - A collection of diary entries or private thoughts from various characters on TVD. What our favourite heroes or villains don't say, but think. Some things remain locked away. All the heartbreak, love, gore, and more...starts Season 4. Currently on: ELENA GILBERT.
1. Not The Same Anymore

_Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid_

_1_

* * *

**4x12**

After the Gilbert siblings team up to kill Kol Mikaelson

**_~x~x~x~_**

_Dear Diary,_

_When people say that love makes you vulnerable, they are so wrong. Love overpowers everything. It shines through betrayal, remorse...even hatred. I learned that today. And I don't want to ever forget it._

_Being a vampire...well, everything is different. It's like...when I feel something, it's a thousand times stronger than what I felt when I was human. It's overwhelming. _

_But I'm not that fragile anymore. I'm not the same sad girl whose parents died, the weak girl who needed protecting. This time it's different. I can protect myself. No one will get hurt because of me. Not anymore. _

_And then there's Damon. When I'm with him, he makes me feel alive. Like I'm something worth living for. When he looks at me...all I see is love. He's loved me since we first met. And I've learned to love him too, along the way, whether I realized it or not. _

_It's only the sire bond that's in the way. It's destroying him; I see it day by day. The pain in his eyes sharpening when he realizes that I'm falling in love with him, and there's no way for him to know if it's real or not. If he trusts me, then he'll know it's real. _

_But I know he's been through so much, and I'm not sure if he can take any more. Katherine, Stefan...me. Everyone. I don't want him to hurt anymore. I know he's still hurting. And I love him so much it hurts. _

_It's just...the whole vampire thing, the sire bond, it's making me go crazy. I just don't know what's right anymore. The other day I convinced Jeremy to kill Kol in order to free Damon from his compulsion once and for all. Now that I look back on my actions, I don't even know what was going through my head. _

_I killed all of those vampires created from Kol's bloodline. And those people had family, friends...dreams and hopes. And now...they're all gone. Because of me. What have I done? Was that the sire bond? Or am I just turning into a monster? _

_The fact that I was willing to kill all those people makes me sick, regardless of whether it was for love, for the loyalty of the sire bond, or not. _

_And Stefan. How can I even start with him. He's been with me for everything, since the very beginning. He was the safety I needed, the comfort I could lean back into while the rest of the world seemed alienated and cold. _

_When my parents died, things didn't matter anymore. But he made things matter again. _

_When he transformed into the Ripper...it scared me. It shattered me of the illusion of the perfect, safe world I tried to forget myself in. It made me realize that not everyone is good, that everyone has their bad and good sides._

_ And I was there for him, there through the whole thing. There when he told me he wasn't coming home, there when he bit me. When Damon and I went searching for him. And it crushed me. I'm not even sure, up to today, that he realizes that. He knows it hurts, but he expected me to be stronger. That I was the stronger person. But he's wrong. Through the whole thing, I fell apart. I lost hope. Even though I had put on a good show...I didn't feel strong at all. I felt weak. Useless. Unable to help. _

_Damon was the only thing that guided me back to myself. I am so thankful for that. I owe him everything. My life, my friends' lives, Jeremy's life, Stefan's life...he's saved us all, at one point. He doesn't like people seeing his good side. But I always do, and whenever that happens, I know he cares inside._

_And Stefan...I'm ready to let him go now. He deserves someone better than me, someone who won't hurt him. Someone who will love him back, and not secretly begin developing feelings for his older brother. And that someone...he'll find if I let him go. If I let him go. And I will, no matter how hard or heartbreaking it will be. I have to. I just do. _

_Now all we have to do is find a way to get rid of this stupid sire bond. _

_Elena_


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_Review: _

_Who do you want me to write about next? _

**Damon**

**Klaus **

**Kol**

**Caroline **

**Bonnie**


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